a tilting of air

I’ve been Hamiltouched
(July 4, 2016)

Its been a long time since I felt this inspired by theatre. Have I seen and been involved in excellent, memorable, deep moments of humor and drama that challenged me and spurred new thinking? Yes! (grateful beyond what fits in a blog)

However, “Hamilton“, by Lin-Manuel Miranda, has triggered an unshakable introspection.

What’s happening in my head and heart as I listen to it is reminiscent of the same reaction I have when listening to “Les Miserables”…especially, when I was in “Les Mis” for our community theatre. There’s nothing like playing a character who kills himself to get you thinking about life. As I listen to the soundtrack (many, many times…and I haven’t seen the show, yet), I find myself contemplating freedom, individualism, success, failure, courage…

Here are a few phrases that get me going…and a peek into insights I’ve gained in just the short time of being exposed to this masterpiece:

“I am not throwing away my shot”

Do I take the opportunities to contribute and serve in all roles I play (child of God, husband, father, son, brother, friend, cast member, church member…) and stand in those roles with the aim to do my very best? Can I do my very best if I play too many roles? Perhaps “not throwing away my shot” means that I have to say no to things I really want to do in order to use my shot well in other areas. However, if I say “yes” to something, I want to go all out and make it be GREAT…not even just “good”. That can be a problem, although it’s what motivates me. If I ever say, “I can’t” or “I think we need to think of an alternative to me completing this”…it is likely taking a ton of energy for me to admit it. I hate admitting that I can’t effectively make good on an obligation. And if I’m to that point, I’ve put in hours of thought about it, trying to think of all the possibilities to make it work. Yeah…

“I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory”

I think of my death a lot in the context of Christian longing. I look forward to my family and I being in the eternal presence of the One, True God; what a wonderful day that will be! It helps me (when I remember it) to slog through the daily grind of this crazy, blindly rebellious, lost world full of people I love. This is not my eternal home! I don’t have Hamilton’s experience of death, which is way more than any human should have to endure, yet we know countless have – and countless more have experienced even more horrific deaths, even in our time. I could never empathize with Hamilton on this…and I do pray I’ll never be able to do so.

“I’d rather be divisive than indecisive”

This is so true, yet can be done in the worst ways imaginable. I’d rather know someone’s point of view than have to guess…or, worse yet, think they have a certain point of view because of their silence or indirectness. It seems as though we’ve become a nation of too many people with weak resolve and poor self-regulation, who can no longer hear dissenting points of view without calling it “hate” or being offended. Name calling, self-righteous judgement, or crazy, underhanded, or violent actions against another person are just plain wrong. However, if you look at me and say, “I don’t agree with your point of view, and here’s why”, or “I think you’re wrong”, or “I have a hard time accepting your point of view”, or even “It hurts me to know you think that way”…I will have a ton of respect for your forthrightness in letting me know. I’d rather know where we disagree than wander blindly in our relationship. And, unless you lambaste me, try to destroy my reputation, or retaliate in some way, I will not translate your disagreement as “hate”. I would hope the same in return.

“I will never be satisfied” vs. “That would be enough”

Often, I feel like I’m simply wired to not be satisfied. I’m always looking for ways to do things better, experience more… The term “enough” as a definition of how to live life is highly attractive, but is hard for me to comprehend, practically. It’s a shortcoming, perhaps. I know my Savior is enough – His grace and mercy, culminated in His death and resurrection – that’s final…it’s enough. And I can easily attribute “enough” in it’s most full and wondrous definition, to people in my life – primarily, my wife and kids…they are why I do what I do every day. You could add the “not throwing away my shot” to this mix of philosophical conundrums. For someone who is driven to achieve, I can over-commit. Or…perhaps even worse…beat myself up when I can’t achieve the best outcome possible, and then retreat into myself to figure out “what went wrong”. Uff da…I need a couch and a good listener 🙂

“Talk less. Smile More. Don’t let them know what you’re against or what you’re for” vs. “If you stand for nothing, Burr, what’ll you fall for?”

This is a bit of a “divisive vs. indecisive” argument. Burr and Hamilton have two conflicting philosophies of how one stands for what they believe in. Burr seems to protect his tenets through careful words, wooing others, intellectual discourse, and…smiling. He gets ahead by not offending those who can make or break his career. Hamilton, however, is wide open on what he believes and thinks. I find I go through life smiling a lot, not because I don’t want more directness, but because directness in any form is too often offensive today. If I posted on Facebook what I truly believe about certain things, I’d certainly find out quickly how many people remain “friends”, and it could culminate into some interesting conversations at church, at work, etc. Lol! I’m quickly realizing I’m all courage in the head, but have a massive editing button between my brain and my tongue. Maybe Burr had a bit of Hamilton inside him, but just didn’t know when or how to let it out…and maybe Hamilton could have learned a bit more from Burr. <sigh>

“Why do you write like you’re running out of time?”

If I could get a job writing and speaking about things I care about…and it could support my family…I’d be all over it. When I write, there is this electricity between my mind, heart, and fingers that reproduce exponential possibilities, ground me in my core beliefs, challenge me in how those are expressed, and I get to PLAY…writing is play. I miss this blog and am thrilled to add another post today. I have a poetry volume in in the works. I have a children’s story done, but needs to be illustrated and then published. There is magic in words and I love trying new spells, so to speak. It’s why I can’t stop listening to “Hamilton”…the story is incredible, but the words – the WORDS – are what draws me in…absolute genius. Others could have written a musical about Hamilton, but to wield words in such a way that inspires such deep and echoing thought is, as stated before, absolute genius.

“They are going through the unimaginable” and “Forgiveness. Can you imagine?”

Tears. Every single time. The tenderness in “It’s Quiet Uptown” is heart-wrenching. Alexander Hamilton made some horrible choices – devastating to Eliza, herself, and to their marriage, deadly to his son, Phillip, and disastrous to his reputation.  Then there is this exquisite moment, spanning days…weeks…months…years…where Hamilton tries to atone for his sin…and breaks down…and Eliza, the strong one, takes his hand and walks with him, listens to him, holds him, and ultimately forgives him. This song, to me, brings her to the forefront of the story. Her courage and faith and resolve astounds me. And she wasn’t blind about it; she hated what his adulterous activity did to her, him, and them. In a world where relationships can be tossed aside by nothing more than disagreement, she rebounds from embarrassment, shame, and the death of her son to being the saving grace, so-to-speak, of one of our founding fathers.

If we all had her tenacity to love above the pain…now that I’m writing this…I wonder if she’s really the hero of the story. The musical is about Hamilton, but I feel Hamilton would agree that there is no true villain in this story, and really only one hero: Eliza. She seemed to balance so much of what he and Burr couldn’t.

Well…there it is. My first blog in two years. I know there’s a ton of Hamiltonians out there…would very much appreciate your perspective and insights.

How talking to lockers prepares one for leadership…
(February 9, 2014)

Being involved in anything gets a person one step further into being more well-rounded, productive, and happy. My hypothesis (not a sword I’d die on, but I’m pretty confident about it) is that being involved in Speech actually leapfrogs one’s personal and communal effectiveness as a leader in whatever role(s) one acquires. Take a look at these lists of folks who have made a huge impact on our political, social, and entertainment scenes.

• List 1 of celebs involved in forensics (speech/debate)
• List 2 of celebs involved in forensics (speech/debate)

I had a short stint coaching speech, and have judged over the last several years. It’s in mine and my wife’s blood (it’s how we met!). Now our oldest son is competing, and our daughter is preparing for her first year.

…it’s kind of a big deal for us…

What is competitive Speech?
Speech is an activity where students compose their own speech or interpret an existing work and compete against others in the same category. The Speech season (at least in MN) has many competitions, Subsections, Sections, and State level. There’s even a National Forensic League competition at Harvard (not associated with state-level competitions). Some colleges also have Speech programs.

What is a category?
When someone meets a fellow former Speechie, the first question is, “What category where you in?” Category denotes the type of speech, and each category has slightly different rules and structures. A Speechie can get relatively good at determining someone’s category. Call it stereotyping, but I have yet to meet a Speechie who doesn’t laugh about the subculture identities (more on that in a bit). For official category descriptions, check out the MSHSL page. I competed in the following (including pieces I presented).

• Informative Speaking (“Woodstock”…because I thought it was cool): an original, informative, non-persuasive speech on a topic of a competitor’s choosing.
• Original Oratory (“Suicide Prevention”…classic teen angst topic): an original, persuasive speech on a topic of the competitor’s choosing.
• Serious Interpretation of Drama (“The Burial of Esposito” by Ronald Ribman): a cutting (monologue/short scene) from a published dramatic play.
• Serious Interpretation of Poetry (cannot remember…something from Millay, I think…): a cutting from a published poem or selection of related poems.
• Storytelling (World Folktales…I still have my copy): interpretation of a fairy/folk tale (draw three/choose one from a predetermined selection).

What would one experience at a Speech competition?
(Fellow Speechies, would love to hear your experiences – agree/disagree, add, reminisce…please feel free to comment!)

Coaches do last-minute triage on speeches, encourage their teams, and prep to judge (many coaches also judge). Judges geek out on competition and category rules, review tournament structure/agenda, philosophize on scores/percentages/critique methods, prep critique sheets, and wonder where on earth is room M102-A. And, yes, we all talk about how it could all be managed more effectively…it’s how it is.

What’s most fun, though, is observing competitor behavior.

• Talking to Lockers: As you walk the halls of a Speech meet, you’ll see students giving their all to a locker…a wall…anything inanimate. It’s hilarious – and totally sane. Don’t be scared…it’s natural in this event and fully expected.
• Bathroom Grooming: There’s likely a row of guys making sure their ties are straight, hair is just so. Not sure what girls would be doing (stop smirking), but pretty sure they’re taking that anxiety up a notch or two from the guys.
• Sizing up competition: In various corners, small groups discuss their rounds, the schools competing, who they’re going to completely trounce in Round 1…and, afterwards, the woes of what really happened in Round 1. Every competitor is a judge…which is okay; some of them will become future coaches and judges, and it helps form critical thinking (coaches, please teach students criticism of the presentation and not the person).
• Subcultures: The subcultures of each category is fun to poke, but there is some truth to it. See a briefcase or a bin of documents? Good chance its an Extemp Speaker or Discussion competitor. Poster-size visual aids case? Informative competitor. Dramatic upsweep of hair, some “artistic” touch to a look, and/or brooding facial expression? Drama or Poetry. Now that MN schools are moving more toward professional dress regardless of category, it’s getting harder to identify your kin…but those who are in Speech know what I’m talking about: you know who your people are.

Why should I (or my child) consider being involved in Speech?
The way I see it, Speech builds three critical skills which are necessary for future leadership: critical thinking skills, communication skills, and self-management. Let’s break this down a bit.

• Critical Thinking Skills: Whether a competitor is writing their own piece or interpreting a published work, they must be able to analyze content, identify key messages, connect dots between ideas, and apply an optimal flow to those ideas. Not only do they do this for their own piece, but also – if they’re smart – as they listen to their competitors. They must be able to critique competitor performances and all the nuances of vocalizations, gestures, posture, presence, and ideas. This not only makes them better critical thinkers, but can also enhance their own presentations as they assess others’ successes and opportunities. They should certainly be paying attention to what the trophy winners are doing differently!
• Communication Skills: Speech is all about formulating a complete, coherent thought and presenting it in a way that makes sense to the audience, and that supports and enhances the overall piece. Either the individual will have to put her/his own thoughts together (including proper citation, if required) or will have to interpret a work in a way that showcases the writing in the piece. Whether interpretive or declarative – it is critical that the competitor gain the ability to formulate and articulate effectively in both written and verbal form.
• Self-management Skills: Speechies do for fun what others fear the most: speak in public. In order to do this effectively, Speechies get used to the following valleys and mountains: not everyone gets a trophy…it builds tenacity; you might win…don’t let it get to your head – you’ll sabotage yourself and/or someone might come by who simply has more to offer at that time (deal with it); just getting up and putting your ego on the line in front of others is a HUGE step in understanding how you think, feel, and behave in times of stress; criticism and judgment most often has nothing to do with who you are as a person – this is something they’ll face in college and at work – everyone is assessed for performance (the effectiveness of what you say and do against a particular objective – not whether you’re a good person or not).

I love going to meets, especially early in the season. As a judge, I need to be unbiased and unemotional in how I critique each presentation. But I want nothing more than  to cheer on every room of competitors, urging them to embrace this opportunity to go big…get smarter…be courageous…and then see the competitors later in the season and be blown away by the intense talent and confidence.

Speechies learn how to own a room, engage others in ideas, and persuade a group to think or feel a certain way. Necessary skills for parents, managers, CEOs, entertainers, politicians, teachers…and they can start building these skills in 7th grade.

Start now. Lockers are waiting.

The Cross blows my mind…
(April 22, 2011)

In regards to holidays (holy days), I think Christmas is fun, memorable. Easter is joyful, freeing. But Good Friday…that’s the one that always stops me in my tracks. It isn’t fun. It’s not fraught with family memories. Nor is it joyful or freeing. It’s sobering, heart-breaking, soul-bending…

Good Friday is one of those days where I’d like to have a few hours (literally) to sit in silence and meditate and pray in communion with Jesus, and then have a few hours to spend time with my family in reading Scripture, playing games, and enjoying the gift of each other in our lives. I’ve never experienced that and perhaps never will…maybe when the kids are older… And that’s okay. I guess what I’m saying is that I had the revelation today that I need to treat Good Friday as sacred and set apart as Christmas and Easter. Here’s why…

The fact that a perfect and all-powerful Son of God willingly chose to rip himself out of heaven and come down to this crazy planet to be with us, minister to us, serve us, and ultimately suffer and die for us (incredibly imperfect and sinful)…it just blows my mind. Christ was there at the beginning (this following verse is one of my absolute favorites – I could meditate on these five verses for hours, if not days…the implications of the words…about the Word…is mind-shattering):

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. ²He was in the beginning with God. ³ All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. ⁴ In him was life, and the life was the light of men. ⁵ The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. (John 1:1-5)

So He knew…He knew what the perfect Creation was. He knew the intent. He knew the risk that Satan, and then our own subsequent sin, would bring into the world. He knew He would have to make a sacrifice. Yet, He persisted for the sake of our Salvation. He had to live with us; He had to live a sinless life; He had to die on the cross; He had to rise up from the dead. All those things had to take place in order for Him to save His most beloved creation: us…YOU! And even as I write that…perhaps He didn’t have to…He chose to. He set that in motion for our sake, an undeserving people.

Okay, I could easily write a book on all this (wait, the Book’s already been written!)…but bear with me on a few more thoughts.

• Think about Christ’s last several hours of life before the cross. He was abandoned, betrayed, slapped, mocked, beaten, whipped, shoved, tried, disrobed, had muscle, skin, tendons severed by nails, had sharp thorns shoved into his head, his side stabbed by a spear and given vinegar to drink. And after all that – ugh, this is hard to write – after all that, he still said, “Father, forgive them…” (Luke 23:34) That just…I don’t know…it just…no words for that. Not now.
• On top of that, he still cares so much for his earthly mother and his disciple that he arranges their relationship to one another; asking his mother to consider John her new son, and John, to care for Mary as his own mother (John 19:25-28)
• When He died the sky turned black, the earth shook and broke, the bodies of the saints walked the streets of Jerusalem, and the temple curtain tore in two – wow… (Matthew 27:45-54)
• We (I) can get riled when someone jumps in front of us in the grocery checkout lane…we literally can let something like that drive our day in a serious downward spiral…yet, even with all He went through for us, Christ looked to heaven and was filled with His truth of eternal salvation, which He wanted to give to all who believe. I think we need to get over ourselves. What do you think?

I think I’ve gotten out all I can muster about this day. There’s just too much to say. God loves this world. He sacrificed His Son for us. His Son did so willingly. He continues to forgive and inspire through His Spirit. What would life be like if we lived as He did – or even tried (knowing that our deeds won’t save us, but that they are in response to our faith and gift of salvation). What would be different for you? Your family? Your lifestyle? What can you start doing now? 

God’s blessings to each of you as we remember the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross, and as we anticipate His triumphant resurrection, defeating sin and death, and securing for us a freedom to live our earthly life with joy to His glory, and someday be with Him again in eternity. Amen!

Paul and Osama
(May 2, 2011)

With the help of digital social networks, so much has already been written – both for and against – the death of Osama bin Laden. I almost hesitate to even put fingers to keys about the topic. However, on my long commute to the office this morning had me thinking…and those thoughts haven’t left me, so I’ve decided to exorcise those demons and let you, the reader, make the decision to embrace them, ignore them, or shame them into digital nothingness.

People celebrated all over the world when President Obama announced the death of Osama bin Laden. The news, Facebook, and the radio gave me countless opportunities to see people rejoicing over his death and touting the power of the United States. Perhaps even more sad, I saw people using God’s Word as proof that Osama, in fact, should have been destroyed…that it was God’s hand that moved the pieces in place. That’s where I’d like to spend my time in this blog…

God is a jealous God, and promises destruction to all who seek to harm His children. This, He does perfectly. He is also a God that allows some not-so-nice things to happen to His children so that they grow in their faith. This, He does perfectly. And, most important – the thing that differentiates the One True God from all other gods – He forgives. This, He also does perfectly. He sent His only Son to die for our sins so that we might have eternal life. Christians just celebrated this Truth a couple weeks ago.

This brings me to the comparison of Paul and Osama. I feel I need to be a bit careful, here…let’s see if I can articulate this adequatelyand consicely without into too much detail. Paul (once known as Saul) was a religious leader who, at the time of the Apostles, actively pursued Christians, which led to imprisonment and death. Christians across the land feared him and others like him. They went into hiding, met in secret places…they were, in a way, terrorized.

Back then, it was okay – he was a well-respected leader in his circle and he was a Roman citizen, both of which gave him ample room to terrorize as he saw fit. It was a different time with different rules!

In our current era, in a world that pursues equality, freedom, democracy, and human rights, this behavior would have been intolerable. World leaders would have cracked down on him or the country that housed him. Countries that would not cooperate with the freedom-fighters would have risked embargoes. Paul would have been on a playing card deck of terrorists…hiding in the hills. You get where I’m going with this?

However, God did something absolutely out of left field (to us, anyway)…He chose Paul to be an Apostle of His church on earth. He saved his dark soul and brought it into His perfect light. He humbled Paul…physically blinded for a time, going into hiding like many of those he once terrorized, being distrusted by other disciples…and rose him up as a symbol of leadership that extends beyond Christianity.

Those who claim to be Christians and rejoice at the death of Osama…are not remembering Paul’s beginnings. Osama is a human being who no longer lives and will no longer terrorize. But where is his soul? It makes me sad. My heart sinks to think of all the violent extremists who want to step into his shoes. It sinks further when I see people dancing on others’ graves…not in the recognition of justice, but in the joy of revenge.

My prayer: That God uses one or more of these men and women…that He blinds them from their darkness and, as the dark scales fall away, that they see His light and become a vessel of hope for the world.

People much smarter than me about the Bible may argue my Paul/Osama comparison…if you can even call my rambling a true comparative story. And I certainly can’t claim kinship with those who lost loved one’s on 9/11 or in active duty because of Osama’s actions; I was relatively untouched, and for that I am humbled and thankful. My heart goes out to those who have experienced such deep loss from evil moving in the world.

I guess, though…my last thought…is that the Holy Spirit is moving in the world, too, and He’s greater and more powerful than any evil we may do. He’s also compassionate, healing, generous, loving…it’s hard to love our enemies, but we are called to do so.

A quick prayer:

Father of All,
Create in us clean hearts.
Fill our spirits with joy and compassion.
Engage our minds with Your wisdom.
Fold our hands in prayer for our enemies.
Turn our cheeks when hurt by others.
Stop our feet from dancing on others’ graves.
Open our arms to embrace the good.
Firm up our hands to lift up the fallen.
Bow our heads in obedience to Your will.
Amen.

May you have a week full of recognition of the things you have, the blessings you’ve been granted, and the joy of the creation around you. Perhaps take a moment to practice praying for an enemy…it doesn’t have to be a terrorist…it might be that one person who really chaps your hide. Pray for him/her. Then think about whether someone might be praying for you for the very same reason…hold that mirror up…reflect…and contemplate…

The Diviners: What I Learned About Teamwork
(May 7, 2013)

I can’t believe it’s already been over a week since we last performed “The Diviners” a the Region V AACT (American Association of Community Theatres) Fest…and that would be our last time. I’ll admit, when they named the runners-up and the winner, I was incredibly disappointed. Not that they didn’t deserve it, but at that moment, I began to miss the time I was able to spend with the cast and crew. At the MN competition, we received Outstanding Ensemble recognition, and were told by adjudicators that our cast exuded what it meant to be a “community”; we showed genuine care for each other. Now, the adjudicators (fancy word for “judge”) were critiquing how we played our characters, but underneath that was a reality: we, as human beings, cared about each other. We were the epitome of a team.

The basic definition of a team is a group of people working together toward a common goal. Okay…we had that…but then I think of a high performing team – one that you wish you could replicate – one that becomes one of those “remember when” experiences. That’s how I’ll always view the cast and crew of the Fungus Amongus Players (Dassel-Cokato Community Theatre) who explored the characters of Zion, IN in the production of “The Diviners”.

Here are some attributes of this lovely collection of souls that someone like me, who works with teams every day, wishes he could replicate:

• Sense of “all for one and one for all”: We were in this together, no doubt about it. Everyone pulled their weight. I never felt unsupported by the cast and, hopefully, they knew I was there to back them up and encourage them, as well. We all wanted to succeed, and we all wanted everyone else to succeed.
• Personal accountability: Even with some interesting schedule issues (we all had day jobs), we were dedicated to our commitment. If we tripped over a line, stepped on someone’s line, missed a cue, fudged the blocking, missed an entrance, messed up a name…whatever the “oops”…we owned it.
• We all believed in what we were doing: We knew we had a great show. That’s the bottom line. We all believed in it. We loved the community we created. We loved the insights it gave people and the various meanings it had for us and the audience members. The belief we had in this show was evident in everything: costume, set-design, lighting and sound, direction, acting, the marketing and production.
• Laugh in the face of adversity…usually meaning “us”: We laughed…a lot…and at pretty much everything. I got hit in they eye by the corner of a 2×4…barring the brief expletive that escaped my surprised mouth, the reaction was laughter…and I kept going. A fall down the stairs, a trip on stage, a complete fumble on a line or scene…all good…all funny (once we affirmed everyone was okay). If we weren’t a high performing team, I don’t think we could move to laughter so quickly…or want to get back on the thespian horse so readily.
• As long as you know the end-game, you can weather the unpredictable: Live performances guarantee one thing: something will go wrong. A lighting cue will be off, someone (me) will forget to come on stage, a name will get screwed up, a hole will rip at your crotch (yep)…you name it, it’s happened. But if you know where you and the others need to get to in the end, you can get there – even through some unpredictable brain farts or unplanned physical comedy.
• Lead with a vision in mind: We would be nowhere without the consistent, achievable yet challenging vision of our director. He set the tone for all the things I listed above, and set a compelling vision of how he wanted the play to go…the experience he wanted to give the audience. This gave the rest of us an anchor to reference, from which we could make choices for our characters. There is really nothing so inspiring (to me) than to see a good-humored, humble leader with a clear vision of what great could look like…and who can articulate that vision in ways that inspire and motivate.

I’m pretty confident that my “Diviners” cohorts would agree with what I wrote here…and maybe they’d have a couple to add or more examples to give.

Maybe you’ve had an experience like this – a…Camelot moment…where the right people were together at the right time for the right purpose…and beautiful things happened. What have you done to bring those learnings into other areas of your life…or have you left them on stage to simply drift up the fly tower?

Love your enemies…(what?!)
(written March 11, 2011)

Jesus says in the Gospel of Matthew 5:43-44 (ESV), “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” I’ve seen that text more than I can count, but it landed on me with a thud these last two weeks. It made me think of three things:

1. Am I too exclusive in my prayers?
2. Have I been putting anyone in my life in the “enemy” category? Why? Am I showing them love and praying for them?
3. What can I do differently to demonstrate this transformative message from Christ (who, by His perfect love, was the only one who could demonstrate the purest sense of loving your enemy by dying on the cross for the entire world, including everyone reading this blog)?

1. Prayer Exclusion: So…here’s my prayer checklist…I pray for my wife, my children, my extended family, and usually I take time in the parking ramp at work to do a quick prayer – or I do it while walking into the office – for my leaders, the people I support, and that I don’t get in the way of His work in this world. I’ll also try to keep my church (or churches? that’s another story), Vibrant Faith Ministries, and others I know in my life who are hurting…but I can’t say my prayer life is disciplined enough to do this religiously. Then there are those event-based prayers – I see a posting of someone in pain on Facebook, so I pray for them…an earthquake devastates Japan, so I pray for them…a country is torn by an uprising or civil war, so I pray for them…in-the-moment things.

However, when was the last time I prayed for my antagonists (enemies is a weird word for me) – those people who I believe are against me, have hurt me in the past, who make my life difficult (…it’s all about me, you know), or who are violating something I hold dear – like oppressing a people for the sake of power. When was the last time I prayed that God might shatter their hearts and rebuild them for His glory…to bring peace and justice to the world? I’ve scoffed at Charlie Sheen, despised Gaddafi, and rolled my eyes at Mubarak. I’ve derided people at work, avoided those who have so seriously maimed me (really?!), and…well…that’s enough, isn’t it? When was the last time I prayed for them? The last time I tried to empathize with them – without ending up as synical as when I started? I gave exclusive rights to certain people…well, my wife and children and family will ALWAYS be part of my conversations with God)…but I drew a very clear boundary that was too restrictive. Time to pray for my antagonists…

2. “Enemy” Category: Then it made me think, “What is an enemy anyway?” Like I said above, that word means little to me. “Antagonist” means more…maybe its the English major in me. In Zanders’, “The Art of Possibility”, which I highly recommend, they talk about not taking yourself too seriously. I love that and often use it in conversation with leaders and employees. Once you face the reality that you are not the center of the universe, that millions of people will survive without you, and that frankly, most folks won’t die if you don’t achieve exactly what you want to achieve, life gets easier and the enemies begin to dwindle. It isn’t that you aren’t important – as I’ve said before, I believe that we are all created by God for a very special purpose with unique sets of talents and interests and experiences that can benefit the world around us. But we’re not all that by ourselves. So…what’s an antagonist…or, if you like the word, “enemy”?

Think about that for a second. Who would you put in that category. Why are they there? If you take yourself or the experience you had with them out of the equation, are they all that bad? Have you prayed for them? Shown kindness to them? It’s hard to do…but I challenge each of you to think of someone you’ve been putting in that category…and pray for them. See what happens in your heart.

3. So what? Yep, this is the hard part. If this blog had anything to say to you, then you need to think about the “so what” factor. It might be different for all of us. For me, it all goes back to forgiveness. Before I can pray for someone, I have to first forgive them. Here’s the metaphore I have on that: The grudge or judgement I have for someone is like a heavy weight in each hand…so heavy…making me drag them across the ground. Forgiveness is the release of those weights; the chains connecting the weights to my hands break…and I am able to lift my hands in prayer for that person. But I can’t do that until I forgive. Hmmm…okay…even in looking at the words, it seems corny…but I’m sticking to it. Do you have those weights? Let’s say there’s one weight for each person you’ve not forgiven…how many weights are you holding? Isn’t that a lot? Isn’t that tiring? Wouldn’t you rather release those weights? Humble thyself…forgive…and pray. Easier said than done…I know…

Is any of this making sense? It’s a lot in my head…I fear my blogs are going to always be long. It’s an open forum, so feel free to leave a comment if something is interesting, boring, conflicting, etc. (I also think blogs are a bit self-indulgent…but it’s kind of fun…so I’m indulging!)

Enjoy the weekend, all!